Leo Perverce, Ph.D

Professor of Philosophy and Humanist Research

Dr. Leo Perverce has been a tenured professor at Faux University in the Philosophy and Humanist Research department for over 30 years, by his count. According to the school records, however, he was hired less than three years ago and has not achieved tenured status. Apparently, after he learned of this he was so distraught he ate his beard. He has since become so afraid and disillusioned that his facial hair refuses to grow. He now copes with the incident by joking about not needing to buy razors and shaving cream anymore, and blamed his misinformation on the fact that he misplaced his watch shortly after he was employed.

Dr. Perverce is very popular with the students despite his awkward social skills and inability to keep track of time. He often says that both of those stem as a result of not actually believing time exists, not as a result of Dr. Einstein's theories but because people can set timekeeping devices to whatever time they wish, be it synchronous with everyone else or not. He also believes that time-zones should not exist, like it being seven o’clock in one part of the country and six o'clock in another, simply because it is impossible to tell which one is the correct time. He believes that such a flawed system of measurement cannot possibly be the only way, but has so far been unsuccessful in discovering another method.