Alumni Relations

Welcome Alumni!

Faux University cares about our present and past students. We have a history of high achievers and, at times, low achievers - many of our alumni are just happy that they received a degree, which, more often than not, took them an exorbitant amount of time to complete.

Alumni in the News

A pair of our alumni that was recently in the news was Jon Jackson '98 and Jack Johnson '98 who founded the Jackson-Johnson Johnson-Jackson foundation. They both are distinguished members of the F.U. alumni and have both received the most outstanding alumni award, which is the Great, Over-Extravagant, and Mean-Nothing Award. Our rule: As long as you have a company with the word "Foundation" in it you are eligible for an award.

Another one of our Alumni in the news is Patty Smitt '83, with a BA. in Psychology. She recently published 2 children's books that show how to deal with the ability to cope in bad situations. One book is titled Daddy Why Are You Slurring Your Words. This book tells the gripping story of two children who has to deal with their drunkard father. The other book is called Hello Kitty, which is a sequel to No Tickle Me Elmo (2001).

Recent Events

We are very proud about what are graduates have done. To show our support, we at F.U. have put together events to bring together our alumni once more. Recent events that we have had are "Running from the Authorities" and the class of 1907 reunion.

The recent class of '07 reunion was a hit; unfortunately, no one showed up, as all of the alumni from the class of '07 are deceased. That did not dampen the mood of the reunion; however, as 90 percent of this year's alumni dues were used to the coordinate this event. Coffins were in attendance, along with ashes of the dead. We are proud to say that some of the alum from the class of '07 includes: a mass-murderer, many con-artists, and a former dictator- that was the class valedictorian. We are proud to say that he starved and killed many during his dictatorial reign.

Donations

Faux University has given their alumni a utopia of knowledge. Now it is the alumni's turn to return the favor. Please keep our alumni President's pockets lined with a simple (and if you want several) money donations. We don't just want your money; we want your money for our trip to Tahiti and for our new flat-panel HD TV in the alumni lounge. We would like to thank all of the alumni who donated their hard earned cash, so that we may enjoy it.