Physicality Studies

The purpose of this program is pretty self explanatory. Through various courses and class work, students in the program will study the structural limits and durability of various objects through every day abuse and attack. Each course in the program will attempt to test these limits in every possible way. Then, finally, we will utterly exceed the limits altogether. Having prepared for the inevitable with careful placement of probes and sensors and cameras and recording devices of every kind, shape and caliber, we will reap the whirlwind which we have sewn. We will know what previously was not known. We will have achieved science, to be used for good or for evil. That is not for us to say. Those decisions are for others, in their ivory towers and darkened robes. No, we simply do our part. Every student, on every day, in every possible conceivable way, will be entropies little helper.

The objects covered through various courses within the department are as wide ranging as the sky and as deep as the ocean. We cover plants, file cabinets, various ceramic chachkis, vehicles of every size, books, boards, irregular stones, regular stones, slippery things, sticky things, slippery things which stick to you in oddly icky ways, big things, little things, mewing and cooing and nuzzling things, things which run and things which crawl, some things which aren’t even things at all, red things and blue things, and sets of one and two things. I may as well tell you. You'll find that it's true. We cover green eggs, and even ham too.

Physical Structures of everyday items (After a 20 Foot or Greater Drop)

This class calls for students to gain access to buildings with different heights (but all greater than 20 feet high, be assured of that) and drop items of different sizes weights and shapes off of the buildings. It's helpful, though not strictly necessary for enterprising self starters, to partner with a student who has already taken the “Locks and Doors” course prior to enrolling in this course. Students taking this class will be required to have something to drop every day or else they will be asked to leave class. On the first day of class the test subject will be the assigned textbook. So students should definitely buy it.

Cuddle Groupings – Expectations of Form, Function and Limit

This special topics class often meets with protest and controversy. But don't be alarmed as we feel that knowledge and scientific experimentation are the main things. So we make a point of offering the course at least once every five to six years, thus allowing all Undergraduate students a chance to take it if they wish. The course itself explores the hypothesis that any grouping of warm, soft and cuddly animals should also be expected to share similar traits in structural limits and durability. Values will be assigned for all identifiable common traits of the group, and approximate variances in physicality limits will then be interpolated from that data. Finally, testing will be carried out and students will do a group report comparing and contrasting the actual findings with the projected outcomes. The report must also include well argued reasoning for the possible causation of any discrepancies between the projected and observed data points.