Hank Sampson
Associate Professor
Education
Ph.D., Applied Apathy, Faux University, 2006
MS, Science of Procrastination, Faux University, 2000
BA, Embroidery and Basket Weaving, Faux University, 1994
Research Interests
- Is it possible to play video games too much? Carpal tunnel and various gamer ailments
- Purposely stunting one’s emotional growth through the use of illegal drugs
- Finding Happiness in Apathy
Publications
Dr. Sampson has almost been published in dozens of esteemed academic journals, including his greatly anticipated article, "Enjoy Apathy, or Don't".
Classes Taught
He hasn't decided yet, but we're pretty sure they'll be cool. He's scheduled to begin teaching several major classes, and will be a tremendous drain to our university's budget.
Background
Dr. Hank Sampson received his master's degree in the Science of Procrastination from Anonymous College at age 26, at which point he took a much needed hiatus from the responsibilities of living in his parent’s basement. Five years passed, and Sampson was becoming dissatisfied with his living conditions. Deciding that there must be more to life, he returned to Anonymous College to further his education. His dissatisfaction was ended immediately after he received his Ph.D. in Applied Apathy.
Philosophy
"When you are unsure of what course of action to take, do nothing, then you can't be wrong."
